An old fashioned sorry .

Why when we are without the one we love do we feel as if we've lost an arm or leg? 

Sitting on a train watching the world wizz before your eyes can even keep up , seeing everything flash in front of you before you can even work out what's going on or if your looking at a tree or a car. Sometimes we do this in real life situations - Let everything flash in front of you before you can even work out what's right there . 

I feel dreadly sorry for the woman next to me , I think somewhere between the buckets of tears , the sad music blasting through my headphones and the typing I would of defiantly moved seats if i were her .

Do you ever feel like when someone says sorry to you they shouldn't be saying sorry because they shouldn't have anything to say sorry for? Yeah me too. Unfortunately I'm the one needing to say sorry no matter how much I want to say it, I feel like I shouldn't even be saying sorry because I shouldn't have done something to say sorry for. 
Its funny really its 4 words ... 4 simple words that I don't have the guts to say .
If this was something I could change , the back space button would be my bestfriend , the delete button would be a long lost sister and the ending would be somewhere between rainbows , butterfly's and a holiday in the seashells ..... Perfect .

Unfortunately I'm stuck with a couple of broken hearts , enough tears to fill up the river temes, a thousand ways to say sorry and life time of destroyed plans.

When you do something wrong you forget everything they have ever done wrong to you because all of a sudden your the heartbreaker. No matter how heartbroken you have been , no matter how much you've closed your eyes and wished they'd been there , no matter how far away you've felt and how much youve needed them . All of a sudden you become the destroyer and all of your upsets get burnt alive and the person you love become a fire you need to keep alite. 

I guess this is one of those moments where you chase them to the airport screaming you can't be without them, you fly planes with notes attached saying I'm sorry , unfortunately I don't have a plane and I don't think he's leaving the county but this is one of those moments where I'm hoping he's reading this so I can tell him I'm sorry for making you believe I didn't love you anymore . A life without you is a life not worth living . You are the bestfriend I never had . You are my one true love . If I can't have you I don't want anybody . 


I promise to tell you i love you everyday because i dont ever want the day to come where your not around to love anymore .